This is Lai, the author of our first -- and only! -- entry on chapter 6! She likes the bike picture best, and said, "I remember this tricycle.! I loved riding it on the basketball court in our old apartment complex!! Little did I know, that tricycle was the beginning of my scaffolding for being able to ride a bike, and eventually with no hands. Oh, how I miss the days when I played outside for hours and hours upon end... Childhood."
Ah, yes...childhood! Lai explains some of her thoughts on learning in childhood below, so happy reading!
Math, science and reading are all essentials in life. Although as young children we do not realize that the skills we learn are the skills we will carry throughout life, it is important to know how each of these concepts is used and for what they will be used.
Elkind shows how each of these subjects are understood, in relation to a child’s “age of reason.” I do agree with Elkind in the sense that people try and teach children based on their biological ages as opposed to what the child can comprehend developmentally. By doing this, parents and teachers can create more stress for the child because they feel the pressure of not knowing things that their parents think they should know. Everyone learns at a different pace and that is not always acknowledged. The pressures from the parents can be heavily linked to a previous chapter in which Elkind discusses parental peer pressure and angst about their child “not knowing as much as they should.” A child’s understanding of something can be shown by the level of reasoning they use for that piece of knowledge.
Elkind also talks about reason and how it applies to child rearing practices. Often times I hear young children getting in trouble because they “forgot” to use their manners. It makes me sad when young children are punished because a child will not always be able to react in the proper way if they have not reached the age of reason for that particular concept. When a child does not say “please” or “thank you,” the best thing to do is reinforce the idea that we are supposed to use our manners. Getting mad at the child because they have failed to do so only makes them less comfortable about talking to their parent. I agree with Elkind’s idea of introducing a sort of imaginary character who can help assert good habits of using manners- or what ever it is the parent wants the child to know. Children sometimes relate better to their imaginary friends because they can create the feelings and reactions given to them.
Reasoning is also found in formal instruction. It is important that the child be able to reason when learning so that whole concepts are understood. For example, when a child is learning a new math concept it is important to make sure that the child has reached the basic level of reasoning for that particular concept before more complex ones can be obtained. It is often apparent in the classroom setting whether a child has gained a basic level of reasoning for math skills. The child may appear to be frustrated and might even avoid the lesson being taught because they do not understand what is going on. This is one of the reasons why I believe the child-teacher relationship is so important. Sometimes extra attention is needed in order for the child to grasp the concepts being taught.
I also think it is important for parents to understand that their child will not be perfect. I feel that again, many of the ideas posed in this chapter relate heavily to previous chapters that illustrate the expectations we have for children. Parents and/or educators might feel the need to push the child along but reasoning follows an invariant sequence- the easier tasks must be grasped before the next step can be taken into account.
You've made some really good points here, Lai, and I agree with you regarding manners. It's true that young children do not really even understand the social meanings behind "please" and "thank you," especially when they are first old enough to "ask" for things -- around 18-months to 2-years. Some early childhood professionals think it's not appropriate to encourage them to use please and thank you that early, but I disagree. As long as it's done in a non-punitive, encouraging way, I think they gradually come to understand the meaning behind the words, and in the process, the people around them are more happy to help them. I think it's about socialization AND cognition...not just cognition.
ReplyDeleteLai-
ReplyDeleteReading your entry I was struck by the accuracy of your comments regarding child reasoning and its' relation to child rearing practices. Parents begin teaching values to their children very early, and many times the child lacks the ability to respond according to parent’s expectations. My first thought when reading your comments was that young children do not have a sense of right and wrong. The part of the brain that understands right from wrong takes time to develop. When many parents first begin telling their children, “No!” they expect them to grasp the concept of an action being wrong very quickly. If the child fails to meet this expectation then a punishment is usually administered. Eventually, when the parent says, "No!" the child immediately stops the action. The question then becomes did the child stop because they understood the action was wrong or because they understood that pain was associated with the word? Child brains develop at an invariant sequence, and no child will understand before their brain is capable of grasping the concept. If parents and teachers better understood this concept they might better understand the children they are interacting with.
Emily Brooks
Your pictures are so cute. It is true that everyone learns at a different pace. I bet some parents don’t even realize that they are putting peer pressure on their children. What you said about the imaginary friend is interesting. I never had an imaginary friend when I was little. I also agree that the child-teacher relationship is important. Enjoyed reading your post.
ReplyDeleteI do have to say that Elkind and Lai made very good points for this topic. I think it is funny, yet sad, when adults expect a child to know something only because they are a certain age and they assume the child should know by now. In reality, like Elkind mentions, children learn at different ages depending on their own time and space. Lai, I also agree with you about how adults should not assume that their kid needs to be a perfect individual. We should continue to help them learn step by step in ways like reinforcing positive behavior. In addition, always keeping in mind that play, love, and work are all part of a person’s learning process.
ReplyDeleteChristina A.
Reading your entry, I do agree that there are parents and teachers that pressure their children to learn something at a certain age which causes stress on the children because the children feel that they should know, but they don't. All children are different and learn at different ages. For example, there may be a three year old child who does not know her colors, and a two year old that does know her colors. It doesn't mean that anyone should pressure the three year old to learn her colors. To help the child, the child can be given activities that deals with colors to work with. With time, the child will learn her colors. -Chai Lee
ReplyDeleteLai,
ReplyDeleteI wanted to expand on your discussion about using imaginary characters to help children learn rules. I think it is an outstanding way to let children know that someone understands and accepts them, while giving them hope that they will be able to accomplish a task in the future. I agree with the statement you made about children being able to relate to the imaginary character. This is one of the reasons the strategy works so well.
The child-teacher relationship is absolutely vital when introducing any concept with formal instruction. I'm glad you brought this up. Literacy, for example, can be presented to children in a way that is exciting, fun, and will intrigue them so that they will stay motivated to learn the subject and want to continue reading. This is why our schools desperately need teachers with the gift to encourage and motivate children in these areas! The last thing I would want for a child in my classroom is for them to feel discouraged, give up, and think they are dumb. It is also incredibly unfortunate that schools require a great amount of knowledge to be obtained by young children in various subject areas when they have not yet reached the "age of reason" in order to truly learn the information.
Kristin Livanis
Lai,
ReplyDeleteI loved the pictures of you on your tricycle; they brought back a lot of great memories of when I was a child. The cool thing to do was to be able to ride your tricycle or bicycle without any hands or feet touching the bike. I remember one time when I tried this and I smashed into a curb. The whole side of my thigh and the inside of my arm had pieces of gravel stuck deep within my skin. To this day I am still so cautious on my bike that I wear a helmet and ride as slow as a grandma.
It’s so true what you said about parents getting deeply upset when their child doesn’t say please or thank you. Parents will usually face the child towards me and basically force them to say thank you. If the child doesn’t want to say it, then don’t make them. There is probably a good reason why they didn’t say it. Just because you asked them to use their manners, they might not understand the concept behind it. I remember when my mom taught me the proper way to answer the telephone and take a message at home. My mom got so mad and spanked me with “the wooden spoon” because I didn’t properly take down the message. Instead, I told the person that my mom was busy and I hung up the phone. It made me feel good that she trusted that I was smart enough to take on this important task but what she didn’t understand is that I was not developmentally ready at age four to understand everything behind it. Consequently, I failed to follow my mom’s directions on using “telephone manners.”
You are right about how parents expect so much from their children that it can possibly damage their self-confidence because they feel that they cannot live up to their parents expectations. No matter how hard the child tries they cannot achieve exactly what their parents want them to. Some educators do the same thing; they expect for the child to know exactly what they are talking about and be able to do it right the first time. If the child doesn’t do it exactly, then they are seen as lazy. That is why it is so important for parents and educators to be able to understand and comprehend theorists and the developmental stages so that they know what to expect from a child.
Sincerely,
Sarah McCarthy
Your pictures are adorable.I agree with you, Lai, it is true that there are many expectations of children. These expectations increase as the child's age increases because children are taught according to age. This leads to parents assuming their children know things because of their age. Parents do not realize at times the amount of peer pressure they impose on their children. Parents need to remember and accept that children are not perfect.
ReplyDeleteAna Cisneros
Lai,
ReplyDeleteI found your blog to be very interesting. I agree with you, when you said it is sad when children are punished because they "forgot" to use their manners.Punishing seems extreme. But, introducing the concept of manners at a young age, I think, would be a great idea. As soon as I could talk, I remember I knew to say please and thank you. Whether I understood it in the beginning, is irrelevant. Eventually I understood it and had the practice behind me. I think having an imaginary character to assist with manners is an interesting idea. This concept may help some children, but may not always be necessary.
-Jessica Taylor
Lai,
ReplyDeleteI think you on your tricycle is so adorable! Your blog entry is so true. Older adults and parents always expect more and more out of younger children. When I was in kindergarten we didn't know anything, now you need to know letters and colors and numbers. My sister is in 4th grade and learning algrebra, it is crazy. Children can't be expected to be perfect because no one is.
Ashley Durbano
Lai, I enjoyed reading your blog. Yes, parents do expect their child to know way more then what the child should know. If a child does not know manners by a certain age they are punished and if they do not know how to do a certain math problem then they are considered behind. I think parents expect way too much from children and do not understand that every child progress differently. It seems like parents often panic when their 5 year old does not know how to say “thank you” and another 5 year old does. Being a parent you have to be patient and if you punish them for not knowing something it can really discourage them. Lai I agree with you that children are not perfect because as parents and adults we are not perfect either.
ReplyDelete-Maihoua Lee
I love your pictures! I always wanted a tricycle but I kept getting a big wheel. As a parent it's hard not to put demands on your children. I'm starting to realize that children don't have the mental capacity to comprehend certain tasks. Children should not be punished for forgetting to say please or thank you. I think teaching children to use manners is easy. It's adults who seem to have forgotten the meaning of manners. Leslie Kelly
ReplyDeleteLai, your blog reminded me of a true story one of my instructors told us about her son. She told us that her son was a little below average, and knew that because she has a degree in Child Development. When her son was in Kindergarten and first grade, his teachers mentioned that he wasn’t at the level he should be according to the standardized test. But when he took the standardized test for third grade and his mom read the results, she was happy. According to the test results, her son had reached the third grade level. When she went to the parent teacher conference, the teacher mentioned how he was still below average and wasn’t at the level other students were. Mom told the teacher that she understood her concern, but she was not going to pressure him because she knew her son was at the level he should be, and for her that was good. I guess your blog entry reminded me of the story because you mentioned the “age of reason,” and how school systems are teaching based on the child’s age and not his/her actual development. I liked the example you had in your blog because it helped me comprehend what children go through in education systems. I also agree with you that teachers should have a better understanding of the child’s level of education. - Berenisse Becerra
ReplyDeleteI agree kids should learn to use their manners and I’m not a parent who will get mad at that moment, but I will say, “please and thank you” for them and sometimes apologize if they don’t use their manners. After the incident, I will later remind them how important it is to use manners and to be respectful of others. It has always been important to be respectful of others and especially to our elders. We and my children, all the children in our family, are taught certain manners with the elders. When an elder comes into the room they show respect by greeting them first, before going out to play. If they are sitting they are to rise and offer their seat to them and most importantly they don’t argue with them when they give advice or scold. We believe as a elder they have earned the right to pass on their beliefs. Children are taught and reminded that they don’t have to agree with them but they don’t argue. They discuss their feelings with their parents and the parents will deal with it if it becomes a problem. There are no imaginary friends for us because it’s a “collaborative” rule between all our family members that is taught early on together. It may seem unreasonable or old-fashioned to have these expectations, but we have to live in this sometimes “disrespectful” world, and there are certain rules we all need to learn to coexist, for us it starts in the family.
ReplyDeleteLai, I loved your childhood pictures, especially the bike one. It is very cute. My sister and I shared a strawberry shortcake tricycle that we rode until the tires wore down to the rims. We put so many miles on it.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this chapter, especially the section on the “age of reason”. I had my husband read that section because we used to get into little arguments on that very same topic. Using our manners, like saying please and thank you are something very important in my household. When our son was little, if he did not say please and thank you every time, my husband would be upset with him. He figured if he said it once before he should be able to do it every time there after. I would constantly remind him, he’s only three. My husband would say that I am making excuses for him and that he knows better. Elkind points out that sometimes children learn to do so because of the context “mealtime”, but sometimes they forget. He went on to say that “children don’t really forget, they just have not attained the abilities needed to learn the general rule and that it is important to encourage the child to use manners before they learn the verbal rules” (122). I feel as a parent it is important to encourage and be a role model for your child. I also really liked the idea of introducing an imaginary mediator to help aid in this process. What a neat way to foster a child in developing these skills.
Amber Archila
Your comment made me smile, Amber. I love it when our intuitive ideas about children are substantiated through scholarly writings and research on child development. It's sometimes hard to help people understand that what seems true because it's intuitive is not always supported by the SCIENCE of child development....but it's definitely fun when it is!
ReplyDeleteLai
ReplyDeleteI think you made a really good point when you said that by expecting children to learn something based on their biological age, as opposed to what the child comprehends developmentally, can lead to a stressed child. I believe that everyone learns at a different pace, some slower more than others. It makes me feel bad that some children get in trouble for not knowing what their parents believe they should already know. Not only does this stress out the child, but it can lead to poor self esteem and lack of confidence in themselves. Let's strive to make a difference in the lives of children, and help parents understand the many challenges that their children may face.
Vanessa Alvarfado
I think this chapter is actually harder to understand. I agree with all of your points though. I do not spank my son because I feel that it will not teach him to learn something faster. Instead I talk to him to help him understand what he has done wrong and it usually helps him. You're right, along with Elkind, to say all children develop at different times. It's not fair to think that a child is "dumb" or "slow" because they take a little tonger to comprehend things!
ReplyDelete-Victoria Martinez