Well, here's a nice bonus at the end of the semester -- an additional entry on chapter 8 from Ana! I think you'll appreciate her take on Elkind's ideas about using humor when disciplining children. Happy reading!
In chapter eight of Elkind’s book, the author discusses lighthearted parenting. At the beginning Elkind says that lighthearted parenting can make child rearing more effective and fun. Elkind also explains how humor can be used to integrate play, love, and work into a child’s upbringing.
Humor is clearly emphasized within this chapter. Elkind states that lighthearted parenting involves parents being capable of seeing the humor in different situations as well as using humor in parenting. Elkind illustrates the idea of parents seeing the humor in a situation when he tells the story of a boy named Andrew. Andrew is a boy who cannot sleep in his own bed. His dad talks to Andrew about this before he leaves on a trip. When Andrew’s dad returns from his trip, he is greeted by Andrew screaming, “Great news, Dad! No one slept with mom while you were away!”(p.172). Andrew’s dad was shocked, but instead of trying to explain anything to those around him, he was able to see the humor behind what his son had said, and instead laughed and hugged and congratulated him. This illustration is also used by Elkind to explain how humor can be used to incorporate play, love and work. For example, Elkind states, love was incorporated when dad hugged Andrew, and work was incorporated when Andrew’s dad socialized with him. This I feel does not happen as often because parents now care too much about what society thinks. This is the reason parents in this kind of situation would consider explaining the situation to the public, and completely ignore the child’s feelings. Another way of integrating humor into lighthearted parenting according to Elkind is through the use of riddles. After reading this section I agree with Elkind and can now connect humor to play, love, and work, which are essential to a child’s upbringing.
Elkind says that there are different ages and stages of humor. During infancy, humor may not be understood because real laughter does not take place until early childhood between the ages of two or three. At this age children think that funny faces, change in voice, and nonsense words are funny. An example given by Elkind, is Dr. Seuss because he uses many nonsense words in his stories. These nonsense words make Dr.Seuss books funny. Elkind says that we need to be careful about the words we use around children within this age range because children repeat what we say and can pick up swear words. Children who have reached the age of reason believe riddles are funny. During the age of reason, children still “do as we do.” Children at this stage can feel that if adults use humor in a degrading way, it is okay for them to do so as well. As adults we need to just figure out what humor is age appropriate and what humor is not age appropriate. This is something I completely agree with. Personally, I have seen a parent curse in front of his/her child. A bit later, the child repeats what the parent said and the parent laughs. As the child gets older, he keeps repeating this curse word all the time, and the parent no longer finds it amusing.
In this chapter, Elkind verbalizes the idea that humor can be used to discipline. Children need limits and when limits are set with humor, the child’s behavior is put in perspective. When using humor as discipline, parents incorporate play, love, and work through joking (play), deep affection (love), and social learning (work). Humor as a technique of discipline is effective and rewarding. I feel that if children are not given boundaries, they will not learn how to listen and follow directions. Children will not be able to work in today’s society filled with laws that need to be obeyed and followed.
Chapter eight shocked me because it talked about play including the sharing of our personal passions. Elkind said that sharing our passions can create life-long bonds. For example, if a teacher shows she/he is passionate about teaching, the children become excited about learning. Children have their own passions from a very young age and at times parents may oppose the passions of their children. This may lead to children caving into pressure and leaving their passion and/or losing their determination. A child who is determined will not give up his/her passions. I feel determination builds the child’s future character. If a child has determination, he/she will “fight” to achieve his/her goals.
Last but not least, Elkind states that family time is important and leads to important qualities in a child. Today with society being so fast paced, it is hard to make time for family, but it is essential, even if it means making sacrifices. Family time shows children they are important and valuable in our lives. Family time is important. I remember as a child in this society, my parents were always working; my family rarely spent time together. Once we decide to build a family of our own, it is important to be willing to make sacrifices because a family is the most important commitment.
Personally, before reading this chapter I was not aware the impact humor can have on a child’s education and upbringing. I would have never thought that humor could be effective in discipline. This is because I see humor as a joke and I feel that if someone is joking they will not be taken seriously. My perspective on discipline involved seriousness, but this chapter has completely changed my perspective on humor. After reading this chapter I completely agree with Elkind’s perspective on humor.
