Play is the Child's Work

Our second entry on chapter 7 was written by Stefani. You'll see when you read her entry that she recognized many types of play discussed by Elkind because she engaged in them during her childhood. I think you'll enjoy her recollections of childhood play, as well as her insight into its importance.

In chapter seven of Elkind’s book, the author discussed the importance of play and how it helps children become effective social beings. While reading the different sections that deal with various ways of playing, I was reminded of my own childhood. Elkind states, “Games provide a set of rules that govern how to behave under certain circumstances” (p.148). I agree with Elkind and it brings back the memories of when I used to play an original game we called “Alligators and Pirates” with my grandmother. I used to play this game with my younger cousin, Kala, and my grandmother at our family cabin in Oakhurst, CA. Kala and I would sit on the swing, which was our “Pirate Ship,” with Nana. We would have to run (pretend to swim fast) to the jacuzzi deck (the island) without actually stepping on the deck wood, only on the rugs which were pretend rocks. We had to hop from rug to rug to make it to the jacuzzi deck, and back again to the boat to be safe. If we stepped off the rugs, then we were eaten by the alligators in the water. Nana would be safe on the swing with her feet up out of the water and encourage us to run fast and not to fall in the water. Then we could make it safely back to the home ship with her on the swing. When we did make it back to the swing, Nana would hug and kiss us because we survived the “alligators and the deep water.” We continued to play this game for years every time I went up to my grandparents’ cabin. I still sit on the swing when I go up there and we joke about not letting the alligators get us.

I agree with Elkind that when children play games with rules, they come to understand the social rules which make cooperation with others possible. Kala and I would take turns running to the island, and we would encourage one another to make it back to the swing safely. A child begins to develop social skills through games with rules. I also believe that children can learn healthy cooperation and competition through games. I liked how this chapter gave many different examples of play and how each area of play helps the child grow in many acceptable ways.

When Elkind talked about “Play Acting,” it reminded me of when I was little and would play with all my dolls. I would put all my baby dolls on a blanket and pretend to drive them all to school and kiss them goodbye. I was reenacting what I witnessed my mother do when she would drive us around and take us to all our different activities. I was pretending to be someone that I was not, and putting myself in someone else’s position like Elkind talked about. I used to spend hours playing every day. I believe that play is extremely powerful in kids’ development.

After reading this chapter, it made me want to go play some games and just have fun, to be child-like again. I know that all the hours I spent playing made me have such a fun and happy childhood, and I recognize that it also contributed to my now having a healthy adulthood. I could think of so many examples in each area of play that I used to do. Now after reading this book, I want to always encourage my nieces to play just like my grandmother did with me, and always make sure they are having fun. I never knew there were so many different kinds of play, and how each one helps the child develop skills that they will need when they grow up. I think play is a child’s daily work.

It Isn't Only a Game: The Role of Play in Becoming Social

This is Emily, the author of our first entry on chapter 7. She said, "I combined dressup and playing with play dough, two of my favorite activities, while I was visiting my grandmother. I was around 4 when this picture was taken." You'll see in Emily's entry here that, not only did she get to engage in some great play as a child, but she feels passionately about the importance of play in the lives of all children. Enjoy!

Children spend a large portion of childhood playing games. Games help develop socialization, cooperation and competitive skills. As children get older they have less time to spend engaging in self-initiated play.

Elkind discusses three classifications that childhood games fit into. Games are considered steady, recurrent or new. Steady games are “continuous over time like cards and hide-and-seek” (p. 147). Recurrent games “disappear and then reappear at a later time” (p. 147). New games arise from “new stories or films” (p. 147). An example would be Cartoon Tag because it is based on the most current cartoon programs that children watch. Over time games may vary, but the basic goals of steady or recurrent games stay the same. For example the goal of hide-and-seek is to be the last person found by the seeker. Changes may occur in location or a tag aspect may be added to the game, but the goal is still the same.

According to Elkind, games “provide a set of rules that govern how to behave under certain circumstances” (p. 148). Children have to decide the person to be “it,” where bases are located, and other aspects pertaining to how the game operates. The ability to determine how a game will function helps children develop leadership and cooperation skills. Elkind suggests teaching young people to “compete with themselves and cooperate with others…[which helps focus them on] improving… [their] own performance rather than besting another child” (p. 160). I have mixed feelings about Elkind’s belief on this matter. I believe children should focus on improving themselves, but learning to compete with others is also important. For example: As adults they must compete with others for promotions at work. If they never learn to compete with others as children they may not be able to advance in society. I agree with Elkind because too much competition has the ability to breed added aggression and animosity among children.

Elkind discusses changes that occur in relation to kinship play during middle childhood. Thinking about the way children tend to interact solely with same sex children reminded me of the friends that I had during middle childhood. Many of Elkind’s ideas about the rules that children develop for interaction applied when I was a young child. I surrounded myself mostly with female friends. While I did have male friends, I rarely interacted with them unless I was with at least one of my female friends. Recalling the interactions of other age groups, similar to mine, closely resembled the interactions that I experienced with my friends.

Through games, children develop different types of rule mastery: age, moral, and verbal. I believe that mastering rules is an invaluable skill for children because as they age and gain understanding about the creation of rules, they are better able to function in society. Society is based on rules. Children who understand the importance and need for rules are more likely to succeed in school, friendships, and are better prepared for adult interactions.

I agree with Elkind’s thoughts regarding playacting and therapeutic play. It is important for children to try different roles that are both positive and negative, so that they are able to grasp the idea of what is involved in each role. Having space to play is essential as is developing a sense of belonging among peers. These developmental aspects commonly advance through play.

Adults commonly overlook the importance of childhood games. Elkind believes that adults only notice children’s games when they annoy them. Adults should pay more attention to the amount of time that their children are spending playing games. Games advance development of imperative skills, and allow children to socialize with one another. Adults should recognize that today’s children are losing playtime and simplify children’s schedules to allow more time for play.

My Apologies to Christina!

I am afraid that I failed to post our last entry on chapter 5! Christina submitted an entry, and it got lost in the shuffle (and if you've seen my desk lately, you've seen there's a LOT of shuffle there!).

I apologize to Christina, but here it is...so, though Lai's chapter 6 entry has already been posted, Christina's entry will remind you of chapter 5!

“Love is a Better Teacher”

Elkind begins the second section of his book by exploring the common misunderstandings of how young children learn. As Elkind explores this topic, he asserts there are three core types of misunderstandings. First, Elkind notes one misunderstanding to be the “Watch Me” Theory of Learning and Instruction. In reading about this type of instruction, what first struck me was how often I see it occur. It’s common to hear parents coaching their children with such words as, “No, no, you’re doing it wrong. Do it like me.” I’ve noticed many parents hold their child to the expectation of learning something new only through forced observation. Elkind points out that under this theory of instruction, children are not allowed to guide their own learning. Instead, they are robbed of the freedom to explore what interests them most, and are forced to focus on what the instructor wants them to follow. Elkind comments, “If these young people were bored and unmotivated, it is not because they were lazy or lacked interest in learning. They were bored and unmotivated because they had been taught that their interests and passions were of little value” (p. 95). I feel this particular notion is extremely important. As a society, we often quickly and incorrectly “diagnose” these children who are viewed as unmotivated or bored with some sort of learning disorder, lumping them in with those who suffer from things such as ADHD. While this may be the easier solution, I feel it’s imperative that we examine our teaching methods and discover the true reason why these kids are struggling. As Elkind points out, often this boredom and lack of motivation is just a result of the restrictions we place on their freedom to explore their own interests and passions.

The second misunderstanding Elkind explores is the “Little Sponge” Theory of Learning and Instruction. As I read Elkind’s account of taking his children to the circus, I was reminded of an instance I experienced with my three year old niece in our local Build A Bear Workshop. I was more than excited to share her first “bear making experience” with her. As we entered the store, I carried with me expectations of her being completely absorbed in the whole process, from the first puff of fluff to putting the finishing touches on her new friend’s outfit. While she was excited, to my surprise she was much more interested in the little things that I was quick to deem boring and insignificant. She was less concerned about finding the perfect pair of shoes to match the outfit (I had chosen), and more concerned with exploring the pictures that were on the box they give you for free to put your new friend in! Elkind notes, “Infants and young children dawdle because they are looking at the world with fresh eyes and ears. They are caught up and excited by much that we take for granted and no longer find of interest” (p. 98). I had somewhat of an “Aha!” moment after reading this idea. Of course children aren’t interested in the same things we are; their concept of the world is completely different than ours! It’s crucial that this idea is understood when applied to instruction. Children are not interested in the same things we are, and they do not learn in the same manner that we do.

Elkind’s third misconception is the “Look Harder” Theory of Learning and Instruction. This is the belief that if children were to just look harder, they would be able to understand concepts that they aren’t able to comprehend. Elkind draws the analogy of speaking louder to someone who speaks a foreign language because they don’t understand English. Elkind stresses that it’s important to understand that children do not see the world in the same way adults do.
Elkind goes on to discuss different types of play. It is through these types of play that children truly learn and develop best. An interesting comment Elkind makes towards the end of the chapter is, “Young children live in a world that is engineered for the minds and bodies of adults” (p. 113). As I reflected on this particular statement, I came to realize how important it is to really understand that children have a completely different view of the world. As educators, we need to embrace this view, allowing them to learn through play and giving them the freedom to explore their own passions and interests.

Perhaps "Reasoning" is the Fourth "R"

This is Lai, the author of our first -- and only! -- entry on chapter 6! She likes the bike picture best, and said, "I remember this tricycle.! I loved riding it on the basketball court in our old apartment complex!! Little did I know, that tricycle was the beginning of my scaffolding for being able to ride a bike, and eventually with no hands. Oh, how I miss the days when I played outside for hours and hours upon end... Childhood."

Ah, yes...childhood! Lai explains some of her thoughts on learning in childhood below, so happy reading!


Math, science and reading are all essentials in life. Although as young children we do not realize that the skills we learn are the skills we will carry throughout life, it is important to know how each of these concepts is used and for what they will be used.

Elkind shows how each of these subjects are understood, in relation to a child’s “age of reason.” I do agree with Elkind in the sense that people try and teach children based on their biological ages as opposed to what the child can comprehend developmentally. By doing this, parents and teachers can create more stress for the child because they feel the pressure of not knowing things that their parents think they should know. Everyone learns at a different pace and that is not always acknowledged. The pressures from the parents can be heavily linked to a previous chapter in which Elkind discusses parental peer pressure and angst about their child “not knowing as much as they should.” A child’s understanding of something can be shown by the level of reasoning they use for that piece of knowledge.

Elkind also talks about reason and how it applies to child rearing practices. Often times I hear young children getting in trouble because they “forgot” to use their manners. It makes me sad when young children are punished because a child will not always be able to react in the proper way if they have not reached the age of reason for that particular concept. When a child does not say “please” or “thank you,” the best thing to do is reinforce the idea that we are supposed to use our manners. Getting mad at the child because they have failed to do so only makes them less comfortable about talking to their parent. I agree with Elkind’s idea of introducing a sort of imaginary character who can help assert good habits of using manners- or what ever it is the parent wants the child to know. Children sometimes relate better to their imaginary friends because they can create the feelings and reactions given to them.

Reasoning is also found in formal instruction. It is important that the child be able to reason when learning so that whole concepts are understood. For example, when a child is learning a new math concept it is important to make sure that the child has reached the basic level of reasoning for that particular concept before more complex ones can be obtained. It is often apparent in the classroom setting whether a child has gained a basic level of reasoning for math skills. The child may appear to be frustrated and might even avoid the lesson being taught because they do not understand what is going on. This is one of the reasons why I believe the child-teacher relationship is so important. Sometimes extra attention is needed in order for the child to grasp the concepts being taught.

I also think it is important for parents to understand that their child will not be perfect. I feel that again, many of the ideas posed in this chapter relate heavily to previous chapters that illustrate the expectations we have for children. Parents and/or educators might feel the need to push the child along but reasoning follows an invariant sequence- the easier tasks must be grasped before the next step can be taken into account.

Bring Back Play!

Barbara, the author of our third entry on chapter 5, is pictured here with her siblings when they were children. She said, "This is me standing in the back at Grandma's house. I'm eight and it's my first communion; my brother Gabriel (7 yrs); Esther "BabyDoll" (6 yrs); and the youngest Christina (2 yrs). We spent a lot of time at my grandparents' (my dad's parents) in Tulare where they lived about 3 blocks from us. Every Sunday, we spent time at my mom's parents; they lived in Porterville. We still go to my grandparents' house (Tulare) every month. They're gone now but my aunt and uncle bought the house. Family has always been a big part of our life and we are raising our kids the same way. Daddy was a big part of our life and playing with the cousins and our dad was big for us. Miss him every day." Barbara lost her dad this summer, so you can imagine just how precious all of those childhood memories are now. And you'll see in her entry that she has many more wonderful memories of play with her dad and entire family. Enjoy!

The beginning of this chapter tells a story of a young girl who is confined because her father believes she is retarded. When she is finally removed from this environment, she is taken to a store and discovers new smells, sights, and sounds she hadn’t been exposed to before in her childhood. Elkind explains the role adults play in the learning process and how that role affects their learning. Society has rushed our children to learn everything quickly and lost the opportunities to learn through play.

The first misunderstanding is the “watch me” theory of learning and instruction (Elkind, p.91). Elkind explains that we don’t learn by watching, but by doing. Instead of the teacher or parent watching the child and giving them the opportunity to learn on their own, we’re expecting them to learn by watching us. Sometimes as adults we need to release the control and encourage “self-directed activities” even if they don’t seem related to what we are trying to teach.

The second misunderstanding is the “Little Sponge” theory of learning and instruction (Elkind, p.93). As adults we tend to have our own agenda when we try to teach through activities or events, and may get frustrated if we don’t think they are getting our lessons. However, children in effect, are always learning, just not always the way we think they are learning. The little sponge method has become a justification for the push to teach everything to our children during their preschool through elementary school years when their brain growth is the greatest. Elkind points out that there is no evidence to support this belief. Although they can readily take in a lot of information, it takes a lot longer for children to process the information because of their immature mental capabilities.

The third misunderstanding is the “Look Harder” theory of learning and instruction (Elkind, p. 98). Elkind basically explains that just because we see it, hear it, or read it doesn’t mean we understand it. He uses the example of reading a German phrase; you can read it, but unless you speak German, you’re not going to understand it. A lot of the school work now is rote memorization. Our children are taught to memorize the ‘math facts,’ which are pages of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division problems starting from kindergarten, and the same for sight words. Does this help them comprehend the information or just memorize the information? I believe Elkind when he says that kids need to learn through play, which plays an important part in their cognitive growth.

My own elementary years were in the middle sixties to the early seventies, and I remember having longer recesses and more creative art and hands-on activities. I started kindergarten when I was four because of my birthdate, and we mostly did role playing, arts and crafts and had nap time. From first grade through high school, learning came easily to me and I was mostly a straight A student. My family participated in sports, Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts, and stayed out almost every night, playing outside rain or shine. When it rained my mom would give us a bucket and cooking utensils and we would make mud pies on the porch. My mom and dad were big on playing outdoors and just being kids for as long as possible. Our homework was done by the time dad got home and he would take us to play handball, catch, four square, freeze tag, duck-duck-goose, or to fly kites. We grew up in a large family of thirty-four cousins and spent a lot of time at grandma’s three or four times a week. Dad was our softball coach and mom was our softball manager. Playing was a big part of our life.

My husband and I are trying to do the same with our kids; Samuel is in cross-country, baseball, football, robotics club, drama club, and Boy Scouts, and our daughter is in softball, volleyball, reading book club (library) and Girl Scouts. These are things they enjoy and we want them to have fun and play as much as possible, however, schoolwork is making it harder and harder. Their recesses are shorter, days longer, and homework for both every night: six to eight pages. This does not include time they spend in class learning lessons, doing daily benchmark tests, and studying for state exams.

I understand academic learning is important to a child’s success later in their adult life, but I believe play teaches other values and lessons needed to succeed in their adult life. I feel play teaches children how to explore their world using both their body and mind, and teaches them to know themselves, and understand how to work socially in their environment. I’m like every parent and want my children to succeed in their future and continue their education through college, but it saddens me that they are getting pushed harder and losing play time, making them more frustrated with school.

It’s All a Big Misunderstanding!

This is Kristin, the author of our second entry on chapter 5. She continues our discussion on some of the misunderstandings about the young child's learning that are introduced by Elkind. She looks pretty determined in this picture, don't you think? You'll see in her entry that she's also pretty determined about what's best for children. Enjoy!

I find it devastating that adults are feeding children ineffective and even harmful practices for learning. It appears that many adults are simply uninformed with regards to the development of their child’s brain. Parents can become so wrapped up and obsessed with teaching their children everything as quickly as possible that they do not realize the negative impact on the child. They feel as though they need to teach their 3-year-olds mathematical equations, or their 2-year-olds how to read, or else their child will not be smart enough. Infant and young children’s brains are not mature enough to handle this pressure and intellectual stimulation, and I believe that forcing all of this information upon them is only taking away what should be their right to learn through play-oriented activities.

Out of the three main misunderstandings about how young children learn outlined in the chapter, the misunderstanding that I found the most disturbing, was the “Little Sponge” theory. I understand that brain growth is occurring at an outstanding rate during the first few years of life, but why are we trying to cram such a vast amount of information into it that young children are simply incapable of holding? By shoving computer games, television screens, and other electronic games that are misrepresented as educational in infants’ faces, we are only reducing their opportunities to engage in play, which is the most effective way for their intellectual development to skyrocket. Elkind explained it perfectly when he stated, “Infants and young children are not little sponges who readily absorb all information thrown at them. They take more time to process information than adults do, and at a lower level of abstraction and complexity” (p. 98). I could not agree more! As adults, it is difficult for us to truly comprehend how exactly a child is seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing, and touching the world. It is important for adults to understand that children’s brains are obviously not as developed as ours are, therefore they are unable to view things from our perspectives. Young children notice more in the environment than we give them credit for.

Elkind explained that the four major types of play, which are mastery play, innovative play, kinship play, and therapeutic play, are essential for young children to achieve new learning experiences. Observing kinship play has always sparked my interest. “[Kinship play] is between two children who are complete strangers, yet behaving as if they were longtime friends” (p. 112). Almost anyone who has been around children has viewed this type of play, and I was surprised to learn that there is an actual term for it. Occasionally, I visit Woodward Park in Fresno for picnics, biking down the trails, and okay, I admit it…feeding crumbled bread to the ducks that wander all around the place. There are children to be seen everywhere around the park, which is where I can remember identifying kinship play. At various large picnics, I have watched children from all walks of life play ball or tag together – children I do not believe knew each other prior to arriving to the park that day. I find it fascinating that children are so open and drawn to playing with someone who is essentially an absolute foreigner to them. However, within minutes it is possible for them to become best friends.

Clearing Up Some Misunderstandings

This is Sara with her mom when Sara was just a baby. She said, "I was a very chubby baby! I was adopted from S.Korea at 10 months old, and my mom always said that the Korean adopting agency thought that American couples wanted healthy (chubby) looking babies. I was so chubby my pediatrician had a difficult time finding my knee caps!" Well, thankfully, Sara didn't have any trouble finding chapter 5 in the Elkind book, as she's done a great job writing about it here. Happy reading!


Elkind begins this chapter by sharing a heartbreaking story of a girl who was raised under the most horrific circumstances. She was dehumanized by her parents to the highest degree, keeping her cooped up in a tiny room until the age of thirteen. She was mentally, physically and socially far behind anyone her age. During Elkind’s time observing and evaluating this girl, he came up with three misunderstandings about how children learn.

The first misunderstanding is The “Watch Me” Theory of Learning and Instruction (p.91). This misunderstanding explains how teachers, parents and caregivers often essentially “give up” on children’s learning process. Instead of allowing children to learn through imitation and repetition, parents may lose patience and try to focus the child’s attention on something else. Or, they may take the activity in their own hands and, in turn, tell the child to “watch me.” I have to admit that as a child development major, my biggest fear is losing patience. I feel that it is important for me to make the conscious effort to stay in the moment with students all the time. It would be unfair and selfish of me to not allow children to learn at their own pace.

The second misunderstanding is The “Little Sponge” Theory of Learning and Instruction (p. 95). Elkind explains that followers of this theory believe that there is a certain time period the brain is conditioned to absorb as much information as possible. To an extent, children instinctively know about certain subjects and learn their meanings, but may not understand their concepts. I agree with Elkind: “They [infants and young children] take more time to process information than adults do, at a lower level of abstraction and complexity” (p.98). This concept coincides with what I have learned from Piaget’s theory of cognitive development: Children organize their thoughts into different structures and refine those structures as they mature.

Finally, the last misunderstanding is The “Look Harder” Theory of Learning and Instruction (p. 98). Naturally, we are all born curious and eager to learn about our environment. As we learn about new concepts we learn what they do and what they are for. I assume most adults forget how vulnerable infants and young children are and how it affects the rate they learn. I believe that children today are being taught things at an inappropriate age. We need to allow children to be children and appreciate and respect their development rate. Learning that children do not learn from watching, absorbing or looking harder, how do they learn?

Elkind states that, “Learning is the product of play-generated experiences limited only by the child’s level of intellectual development” (p. 103). He also suggests that there are four types of play: “mastery play, innovative play, kinship play, and therapeutic play” (p. 103). In mastery play, infants learn object permanence and start coordinating their motor skills. Through repetition and imitation children will learn more effectively both in the physical domain and mentally. Once children refine those skills, they can start to build new ones on their own by being innovative. I feel that kinship play is essential to a child’s developmental needs. Generally, people like to associate themselves with people who share the same interests. But with children, they are “naturally drawn to one another” regardless of their interests (p.112).

I believe these types of play can resolve our misunderstandings about how children learn and raise the awareness of parents and teachers. As an aspiring teacher, I think it was important for me to understand Elkind’s misunderstandings about how children learn. I hope these tools will help guide me to become an effective teacher and mentor to young children.